She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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