i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
