I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
