dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
