I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
