I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
me + whiskey = a bad person
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
