I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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