I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
