I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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