toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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