if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I am spending my child support on dildos
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
