theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
