So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
