Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
