It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We smell like vodka and hangover
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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