I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she woke up with a sticky ear
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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