Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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