grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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