I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's rum buckets o'clock
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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