would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
