Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
