i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
