Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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