Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
