Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And then my night got REAL pukey
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
