I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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