we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
