she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
