Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
