She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
