I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
