Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
