All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
