Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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