There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize