doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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