I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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