omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
