I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
