my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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