dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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