Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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