Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She said her name was "party"
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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