it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
