dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize