I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
