On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
