A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
