the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
