how can u be prego again
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
